June 4, 2025

"Life after Trauma"

"Life after Trauma"
iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconRumble podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
iHeartRadio podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconAudible podcast player iconPodchaser podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconSpreaker podcast player iconDeezer podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconPodcast Addict podcast player iconJioSaavn podcast player iconCastamatic podcast player iconCastbox podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconRumble podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
Season 1

After two tours to Iraq and one to Afghanistan, Michael McNamara saw the effects that traumatic battlefield experiences had left on his life. His goal is to help those dealing with such trauma to overcome those effects and experience a radical recovery.

Intentional is broadcast live at Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays 2PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).

Intentional TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Intentional Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast:https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/intentional--6284506/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.480 --> 00:00:03.560
Any health related information on the following show provides general

2
00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:07.000
information only. Content presented on any show by any host

3
00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:09.679
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.

4
00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:13.320
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,

5
00:00:13.400 --> 00:00:50.359
or treatment program.

6
00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:55.840
It's time to stand up, speak out, get involved, and

7
00:00:56.039 --> 00:00:57.079
let's speak.

8
00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:09.359
Intention Hello and welcome to Intentional. I am your host,

9
00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:12.480
big me out. It's really good to be with you

10
00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:16.120
on this Tuesday. I pray that you are blessed beyond

11
00:01:16.200 --> 00:01:19.280
belief wherever that you are. And thanks for taking a

12
00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:22.680
little time stopping in now. If you happen to be

13
00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.560
catching us during this live show, be sure and drop

14
00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:28.719
a comment in the chat. We'd love to be able

15
00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:31.120
to connect with you. Be sure to do a little

16
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.280
subscribe in, hit the like button, share out the invite,

17
00:01:35.719 --> 00:01:40.159
invite the interview, just share it all out. We don't care,

18
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:43.719
just share everything. That's how we are. Just hit it,

19
00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:47.200
hit it anyhow. It is really good to see you today,

20
00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:51.040
So if you would just bear with us here, we

21
00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:53.599
have something really important that we'd like to talk to

22
00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:58.200
you about. Hey, I want to be real serious with you.

23
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:01.239
One of the biggest scourges called by the open border

24
00:02:01.319 --> 00:02:06.400
crisis is the flow of uncontrolled fentanyl. Seventy percent of

25
00:02:06.560 --> 00:02:11.479
last year's overdose deaths were attributed to fentanyl. It is

26
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:16.599
a hundred times more potent than morphine. Two grains can

27
00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:20.360
and will kill you. At the fentanyl test, they have

28
00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:24.800
created the first test the can detect deadly ventanyl down

29
00:02:24.840 --> 00:02:29.960
to one nanogram per mill leader. Because every life is precious,

30
00:02:30.439 --> 00:02:33.680
go to the Fentanyl Test dot com and use promo

31
00:02:33.800 --> 00:02:39.360
code Meal for your ten percent discount off your order today. Okay,

32
00:02:39.479 --> 00:02:42.639
it's time to be intentional, and obviously it's time for

33
00:02:42.680 --> 00:02:45.879
me to get some more coffee. Somebody bring me some coffee.

34
00:02:45.960 --> 00:02:50.680
Make it a double double espresso. Okay, So let's get

35
00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:55.879
to the catterwaul. In my twenty eight years as a nurse,

36
00:02:55.960 --> 00:02:59.479
as an advocate, as a defender of medical freedom, I

37
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:04.039
have seen, heard and helped to comfort many who are

38
00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:09.879
going through an emotional experience in response to distressing events.

39
00:03:09.919 --> 00:03:13.240
I worked in oncology, I worked in bow marrow transplant,

40
00:03:13.400 --> 00:03:19.479
and these precious souls, these spirits were very overwhelmed and

41
00:03:19.479 --> 00:03:22.360
they were unable to cope and that's what brought on

42
00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:26.840
a lot of their trauma. Was their disease and their illness. Then,

43
00:03:27.159 --> 00:03:31.360
over the last three years, I began working and interacting

44
00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:35.680
with victims of the pandemic from everyone from the gene

45
00:03:35.719 --> 00:03:40.800
therapy countermeasure to the COVID hospital protocols, and there was

46
00:03:41.159 --> 00:03:47.680
noticeable long term psychological trauma post traumatic stress. Those people

47
00:03:47.759 --> 00:03:53.800
were experiencing bodily injury, severe disabilities, or even death of

48
00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:59.080
their family and friends. So many people are on a

49
00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:03.560
long journey. They're simply trying to survive. They're filled with

50
00:04:03.639 --> 00:04:07.360
shame or they're filled with fear, and they feel powerless.

51
00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:12.360
And what we need is to just overcome with inner hope,

52
00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:16.920
joy and peace. So this month, being the month of

53
00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:21.680
June and it is the PTSD Awareness Month, we thought

54
00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:24.319
it would be great to bring someone in who is

55
00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:28.240
an expert, and we have with us Michael mcmanara. Now

56
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:31.759
he is the author of the book From Trauma to Joy,

57
00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:36.920
Life changing lessons that fellow US Marines taught me after

58
00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:42.079
traumatic events occurred in my life, Lessons that apply to anyone.

59
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.600
He is also the founder and president of the Post

60
00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:52.279
Traumatic Winning Company. So welcome with me. Michael mcmanera or

61
00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:56.480
his friends call him Mac. So welcome Mac.

62
00:04:56.959 --> 00:04:58.560
Well, thank you very much.

63
00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:01.680
It's obviously pleasure for me to be here and join

64
00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:03.000
you today and you.

65
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:05.360
And right from the startment.

66
00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:09.839
You know, when you say PTSD, everybody says, oh, it's

67
00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:12.920
a combat thing. Oh that's that's the thing that cops

68
00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:16.879
and firefighters, and it's not a life thing.

69
00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:17.800
Right.

70
00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:21.000
I have a saying that nobody gets to the car

71
00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:24.839
wash without getting wet, you know, and everybody as you

72
00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:28.800
as you people, and if they feel safe, you won't

73
00:05:28.839 --> 00:05:31.600
know it. They will tell you a story that will

74
00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:34.600
stun you that they've been through in their life. So

75
00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:37.600
most of us go through trauma in our lives.

76
00:05:37.680 --> 00:05:41.439
It's just it is a very normal experience.

77
00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:46.279
And as you know, right, but we know that all

78
00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:47.279
dealing is not.

79
00:05:49.399 --> 00:05:52.000
Honest. Is anybody to know how screwed up?

80
00:05:52.040 --> 00:05:55.720
I am not knowing that you're but I don't know that,

81
00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:00.439
So I'm oh, I myself, I don't want anybody to know.

82
00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:05.199
Really how I kind of came to this, what was

83
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:07.720
doing it on the down low? And then I started

84
00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:08.519
interviewing people.

85
00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:13.199
I heard a variation of things. For over.

86
00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:16.879
I don't mean to interrupt you. I'm getting I'm getting

87
00:06:16.920 --> 00:06:19.680
a lot of a lot of feedback. I just want

88
00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:21.839
to make sure that I'm that it's not me. I'm

89
00:06:21.879 --> 00:06:25.839
only getting about every every couple of words. It's very electronic.

90
00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:32.160
I want to check with my producer. Is that mecstatic me?

91
00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:32.639
Not you?

92
00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:40.480
I think so. I think so, sir, hard wired, I'm

93
00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:56.639
not using let's can you are you there? I'm so sorry,

94
00:06:56.759 --> 00:07:01.720
Michael Mac. We're having some difficult here. Try it again.

95
00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:07.040
See if you can speak again. I couldn't hear you.

96
00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:12.800
I'm thinking, are your head Do they have a micro Yeah?

97
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:17.000
I know this isods Okay, that's touch and go. It's

98
00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:19.959
got a static. I'm here, okay, hold on me.

99
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:26.360
Yeah, this is this is the fun part of podcasting.

100
00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:30.519
You know, this is my fun part because the electronics

101
00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:33.959
are always they're working against me. No, I'm just kidding.

102
00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:37.480
It's not like a not like they're against me. Try

103
00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:43.519
it again. Book Okay, well he has got a phenomenal

104
00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:49.120
book there there there, can we hear you? Go ahead, Michael,

105
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:50.879
go ahead, Mac? Try talking?

106
00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:52.360
You hear me now?

107
00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:53.519
Yes?

108
00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:55.959
I can hear you now? Can you hear me?

109
00:07:56.279 --> 00:07:57.560
But I can hear you?

110
00:07:57.560 --> 00:07:58.360
You can't hear me.

111
00:07:58.600 --> 00:08:00.519
Oh that's a problem.

112
00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:06.959
Oh my god. Okay, Well while while we're doing this,

113
00:08:08.519 --> 00:08:14.720
Mac has got an incredible book. This actually is a

114
00:08:15.720 --> 00:08:21.160
how to book, and we'll let Mac explain that to us.

115
00:08:21.399 --> 00:08:26.279
But it is incredible because it is useful for anyone

116
00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:31.240
who was going through extreme trauma in their life. And

117
00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:34.879
I'm really excited. I want to kind of hear about

118
00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:39.879
this because these are life lessons or ways that people

119
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:45.039
can incorporate into their lives. It's not like, you know,

120
00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:49.559
a a therapy session, which I think is important because

121
00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:52.720
so many of us need to learn how to deal

122
00:08:52.840 --> 00:08:57.039
and to cope with stress in our lives. So, my Mac,

123
00:08:57.120 --> 00:08:59.559
I'm gonna I'm gonna see how are you doing? Are

124
00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:05.279
you able to to? I can't hear you. I'm on mute.

125
00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:06.039
How about that?

126
00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:07.240
There we go?

127
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:14.919
There we go, Yay, all right, one giant.

128
00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:21.480
Exactly, and nobody has brought me my caffeine laced expresso,

129
00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:24.399
so you know, I'm I'm going to have to make

130
00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:29.360
a call for that again. But uh, but we're going

131
00:09:29.399 --> 00:09:32.679
to roll through, you know what. Let's take it from

132
00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:39.039
the top, Mac, This this month is uh PTSD and

133
00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.360
you were telling us that there was really some differences,

134
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:45.720
because I think it is absolutely true. People hear PTSD,

135
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:49.679
and they think war. They think, you know, this is

136
00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:53.559
only for combat people, but it's not.

137
00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:01.200
And again, if you watched somebody you love die slowly

138
00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:03.440
of a terminal illness and you've gone to the hospital

139
00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.639
every day or you've taken care of them, you mean

140
00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:07.639
to tell me that you don't see that when you

141
00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:10.240
go to sleep at night, or there's certain smells, or

142
00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:13.799
if you've been in a car accident and somebody was killed,

143
00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:17.879
or you know. And so there's this notion that PTSD

144
00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:20.279
is as well, that's that military thing or police or

145
00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:23.240
firefighter thing, and I want people to get over that.

146
00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:27.279
It's a much broader issue. It concerns child abuse, it

147
00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:31.559
concerns sexual violence, it concerns domestic violence, and then a

148
00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:34.200
whole series of accidents, and then there's crime on top

149
00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:36.759
of that. So what I want to to note is

150
00:10:36.919 --> 00:10:41.639
there's a gigantic fraternity and sorority of people right in

151
00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:44.559
the world, in the country that you have gone through this,

152
00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:47.279
but we don't want to talk about it because we're

153
00:10:47.320 --> 00:10:50.759
all afraid that you might learn how much I'm struggling.

154
00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:53.000
And I tell people, look, man.

155
00:10:53.240 --> 00:10:56.399
Don't be afraid, because when you tell the truth about

156
00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.960
you you give somebody else permission to tell the truth

157
00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:02.159
about them, You're going to be stunned at the things

158
00:11:02.200 --> 00:11:02.519
you hear.

159
00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:06.639
You know, you brought up an incredible point when you

160
00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:12.440
said the smells that occur, I can tell you, and

161
00:11:12.519 --> 00:11:15.320
I'm just gonna share this with you because I think

162
00:11:15.399 --> 00:11:19.720
it is such an incredible point. I had a very

163
00:11:19.799 --> 00:11:24.240
wonderful I called her my adopted grandmother, and tragically she

164
00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:29.799
burnt to death on the floor furnace. And the smell

165
00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:35.600
that was coming from her house. I could not walk

166
00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:42.200
by somebody having a fireplace burning because it would just

167
00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:46.159
it would trigger me. It would it would absolutely send

168
00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:48.840
me over the edge. And I'm so glad that you

169
00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:51.440
brought that up, mac Well.

170
00:11:51.480 --> 00:11:53.360
And you want to know my introduction to it, Mick,

171
00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:56.960
was I had a I was a captain of the

172
00:11:56.960 --> 00:11:59.879
Marine Corps. We were out training in the California desert

173
00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:04.039
and a helicopter crashed seventy five yards from me. The

174
00:12:04.120 --> 00:12:07.639
pilot was decapitated, the co pilot was crushed. Today we're

175
00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:11.200
trying to save two guys who survived the crash. You know,

176
00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:14.440
your hands on him doing what nurses do right right,

177
00:12:15.399 --> 00:12:18.000
You listen to the sounds they make you listen to

178
00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:21.559
you watch the you know, the look in their eyes

179
00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:24.840
they're struggling. He did everything. I have my hands on

180
00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:27.279
all over one one of them. I'm trying to keep

181
00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:29.320
him alive. I'm trying to keep his airways open. I

182
00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:31.600
can see it right now, right write the sand on

183
00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:35.159
his face, the perspiration. You never spoke. I did, and

184
00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:36.840
he was thought so hard to live and he died.

185
00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:40.279
And then one of my senior marines came out about

186
00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:42.919
three hours later, and he had been listening on the

187
00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:44.759
radio because he knew he knew what was going on.

188
00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:47.000
He walked up to me and he said, he goes, say, sir,

189
00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:49.039
He said, how are you doing? And I said, well,

190
00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:49.759
we've been busy.

191
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:50.559
I don't know.

192
00:12:51.080 --> 00:12:52.879
And he looked at me and he said, you know

193
00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:54.879
you're never going to get over this, right. And I

194
00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:57.440
won't use the language that I used with him that day,

195
00:12:57.480 --> 00:12:59.799
but I very bluntly told him to get away from me.

196
00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:02.120
And he said no. He said, you need to know that.

197
00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.279
I said, who told you that? He said, Vietnam guys.

198
00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:07.360
He said, it's good advice. I went through something not

199
00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:09.000
nearly this bad.

200
00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:11.720
He said, but it's always helped me and it was

201
00:13:11.720 --> 00:13:14.120
the best advice anybody's ever given me in my life,

202
00:13:14.159 --> 00:13:15.399
because I didn't know any of this stuff.

203
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:18.000
I know now. And here's what the advice was.

204
00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:22.759
Hey, you'll never get over it, Okay, b when you struggle,

205
00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:25.519
you know what, that makes you a normal human being.

206
00:13:25.799 --> 00:13:29.720
You cannot go through that without struggling with it. And

207
00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:32.799
for me, the sound of a helicopter, the smell of

208
00:13:32.960 --> 00:13:38.080
aviation fuel, right, bagels were next to his left knee

209
00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:39.919
because he was going to have him for lunch evidently,

210
00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:42.639
and so, I mean, all those things triggered the video.

211
00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:46.039
But his word, somebody who I really respected telling me

212
00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:49.720
there's nothing wrong with you. You're gonna, You're gonna. And

213
00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:51.759
then but the other thing was you can still live

214
00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:53.840
a great life. You can still live a great life.

215
00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:57.000
And so that was my introduction. And so that was

216
00:13:57.039 --> 00:14:00.399
in nineteen ninety three. Nineteen ninety six, my oldest two

217
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.960
children are murdered by her husband when she says she

218
00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:06.200
wants a divorce, six years old and four years old, right,

219
00:14:06.440 --> 00:14:09.519
and then he killed himself in front of my sister. Now,

220
00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:12.480
I've spent three years in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it's

221
00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:15.000
important that people know this going to war is not

222
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:16.879
the worst thing you could ever see in your life.

223
00:14:17.080 --> 00:14:18.960
My sister's in a zip code that I'm not even

224
00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:21.559
close to it, and I've seen some bad things and people.

225
00:14:21.679 --> 00:14:23.919
When I speak, I make sure I say that point.

226
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.759
If you've been sefally abused as a child, I'm not

227
00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:29.559
in that zip code. I have friends that are, no kidding,

228
00:14:29.559 --> 00:14:32.080
American war heroes that have heard an interview I did

229
00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:34.759
with my sister and they looked at me and said, man,

230
00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:37.240
I'd be embarrassed to talk about my stuff in front

231
00:14:37.240 --> 00:14:41.039
of your sister. Right, So people have to understand it.

232
00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:45.799
These experiences happen. You can still live a great life, okay,

233
00:14:45.799 --> 00:14:49.720
but you have to understand this environment, this new world

234
00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:51.919
that you live in, that life has shoved you into it,

235
00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:53.799
which I call the valley of the shadow of death.

236
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:56.080
Life shoves you into the valley of the shadow of death.

237
00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:57.759
So what do you do? What do you do?

238
00:14:57.879 --> 00:15:00.039
And that's what From Trauma to Joy is about. It

239
00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:03.679
is not a theory book, a broad discussion. It is

240
00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:06.000
a set of blueprints. How do you go from the

241
00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:08.519
bottom of that valley to what I call the heights

242
00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:08.960
of joy?

243
00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.120
How do you do that? And what I want everybody

244
00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:11.399
to know.

245
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.639
I don't care what your trauma is, Okay, I don't

246
00:15:14.679 --> 00:15:17.039
care if you were sexual views as a child, right,

247
00:15:17.159 --> 00:15:18.799
I don't care if you went to war. I don't

248
00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:22.399
care if you're a victim violent crime. There's a path

249
00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:24.840
for you and you can walk it. And I say

250
00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:26.759
that because I see people do it all the time.

251
00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:30.120
I'm not talking trash, right, I'm just confident in what

252
00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:32.840
I know and what I've seen that you can do it.

253
00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:38.799
Yeah. Absolutely, And it's an important message because I'm going

254
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:41.879
to be honest. I think we all can agree on this.

255
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:45.720
There is a lot of violence and inhumane acts that

256
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:48.919
are going on in broad daylight in the middle of

257
00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:51.960
our streets right now. I mean, we see the guy

258
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:55.960
who was in Colorado, he was throwing the Molotov cocktails,

259
00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:59.080
burning the people at the rally, the lady in New

260
00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:01.559
York and the sub way where the guy litter on

261
00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:06.480
fire in the subway. People are being shot to death, executed,

262
00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:11.480
the diplomats in Washington, d C. There seems to be

263
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:15.799
a lot of anarchy, looting, you know, people are just

264
00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:18.840
kind of being beaten and left bleeding in the middle

265
00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:21.759
of the street and I'm not trying to be graphic here.

266
00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.600
These are all videos that I see every day. But

267
00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:28.879
this is being done in front of children, in front

268
00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:32.480
of people maybe who are maybe a little less jaded

269
00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:34.960
or tainted than I am, after working, you know, like

270
00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:39.200
twenty eight years in the hospital. So my question is,

271
00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:43.960
is you know PTSD is not just war time, It's

272
00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:49.080
not just for victims of war. What about the impact

273
00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:52.679
that is happening right now in our society.

274
00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:55.080
Well, and it's been.

275
00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:57.200
That way for a long time, right, and so fill

276
00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:00.440
in the blank, trauma, whatever it is, right, Yeah, But

277
00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:05.039
I think you know, I didn't know much about RFK.

278
00:17:06.759 --> 00:17:09.599
I read stories about him. I thought he's a little lot, right,

279
00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:14.720
But when he called this press conference almost a year ago,

280
00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:18.200
when he said that he was gonna end his campaign

281
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:21.079
and he would support Donald Trump, right, President Trump. I

282
00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.599
watched it, I thought, I wonder what he's gonna say. Well,

283
00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:26.480
he went down a series of things health things that

284
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.039
and I mean, all the data and no matter what

285
00:17:30.119 --> 00:17:33.200
you think, RFK, when you see the data of American

286
00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:36.640
health as opposed to other nations in the world, it's

287
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:40.799
a bit stunning. We do the same thing with mental health,

288
00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:44.400
trauma Okay, you're gonna do you need meds and you're

289
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:47.319
gonna go to therapy. The nation set a suicide record

290
00:17:47.799 --> 00:17:50.000
the last da I saw in twenty twenty two. The

291
00:17:50.119 --> 00:17:53.640
United States, the military set is setting suicide records. We

292
00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:56.759
haven't been in a conflict for ten years, right, So

293
00:17:58.039 --> 00:18:02.599
I would tell you this, all to meds and therapy

294
00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:06.359
forever is a mistake. And my message everybody is, look

295
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:09.160
after you go through traumatic experiences, you're gonna have to

296
00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:13.119
change your behavior. You're gonna have to coexist with trauma, okay,

297
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:15.519
and you're gonna have to learn to live with some

298
00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:18.680
self discipline because you're a more fragile version of you.

299
00:18:19.079 --> 00:18:21.359
And if you want to get drunk, all that does

300
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:24.160
is unleashes the beast from inside of you. Okay, so

301
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.200
but you can do this. But the first thing is

302
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:27.839
you got to learn about the value of the shadow

303
00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:30.960
of death. And then and again in the book, you're

304
00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:34.000
not gonna hear time heals all wounds. Okay, you're not

305
00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:37.200
gonna hear any of that nonsense that, oh there's.

306
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:39.920
A purpose and there's no purpose in it. Right.

307
00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:42.440
And then then then the other one I love is

308
00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:44.559
is God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

309
00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:47.079
And my response is, how do you know were you're

310
00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:50.319
in the planning meeting when God handed out trauma and said, hey,

311
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.880
let's give Matt Namara an extra dose. He can handle it.

312
00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:57.559
And it's I forgive those people because they don't know

313
00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:00.359
what to say to you, right, and they say something

314
00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:01.960
that they heard their parents say at a funeral.

315
00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:02.480
Right.

316
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:05.279
So in my mind I think of Jesus' words, Father,

317
00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:07.960
forgive them for they know not what they say, right,

318
00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:11.079
because they just don't know what to say. And so,

319
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:14.880
but you can learn about that. You don't ever get

320
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:17.680
over it. That trauma is pretty normal in life. Most

321
00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:21.400
of us go through it, right, That it's normal to

322
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:25.079
feel damage. You will feel damage, right, and that you're

323
00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:27.440
gonna have to learn to coexist with it. And in

324
00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:29.519
order to die, you're gonna have to become a better

325
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:32.359
version of you. Okay, the old version of you that

326
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.000
doesn't have these skills is not going to do well

327
00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:37.680
in the valley of the Shadow of Death. But a

328
00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:41.759
wiser version of you, right, a more disciplined version of you,

329
00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:44.720
I'm gonna tell you, can not only live a good life,

330
00:19:44.839 --> 00:19:46.759
but you can live a great life. But we don't

331
00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:51.799
tell anybody that I've written a book. I have the

332
00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:55.039
videos that are nine hours long. I went to therapy

333
00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:58.839
for two years at the VA. There isn't anything. There's

334
00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:02.960
a truck going by. Isn't anything in my book that

335
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.400
I learned in therapy, not one thing. And I that

336
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:09.000
dawned on me after I wrote the book. And they

337
00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.119
were great guys. They're both Vietnam veterans, and you know

338
00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:15.400
the biggest thing they did for me was I began talking.

339
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:19.279
But there's a whole set of skills that you can

340
00:20:19.400 --> 00:20:22.119
learn that somebody should look at you and say, hey,

341
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:28.960
do this. Hey, guess what stop drinking butt heead right, Oh,

342
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:31.839
you go through all this stuff and now you're going

343
00:20:31.880 --> 00:20:35.759
to soak it an alcohol that'll help right, wrong, But

344
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:39.839
I mean Marines course of action number one. When you're struggling,

345
00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:43.279
let's go get drunk. That'll make it better, and it doesn't.

346
00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:47.119
So you learn these skills and then guess what your

347
00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:50.720
life changes, not in years, in days, weeks and months.

348
00:20:50.839 --> 00:20:53.599
That's how fast it'll happen. Right, And then you have

349
00:20:53.640 --> 00:20:56.759
a daily basic routine, so you do these things every day.

350
00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:00.400
You get up fifteen minutes early. You meditate or your

351
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:03.200
brain down, whatever you want to call it. Right, you

352
00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.400
get physically active, cannot because now fitness is half of

353
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:09.559
your brain and half for your body. Right, you stop

354
00:21:09.720 --> 00:21:12.920
drinking or you cut your drinking way back. You don't

355
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:16.759
do you don't go there anymore because when alcohol unleashes

356
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:18.240
that beast, who does that beast?

357
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:22.440
Get everybody who you love? Right? And so you wear

358
00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:24.759
those skills right, and and.

359
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.559
So to me, that's what this path is. But we

360
00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:31.440
don't go that. We send you to therapy. They there's

361
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:34.000
no drug that makes this go away. There's I can

362
00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:36.279
tell you, there's no amount of words that make it

363
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:40.240
go away. Okay, And so what am I learning there?

364
00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:42.160
What am I learning how to do? And I would

365
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:46.160
tell you this skill is like any other other skill, Mick.

366
00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:49.880
It's like learning You didn't know anything about being a

367
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:53.319
podcast host, when you know how to how to fill

368
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:58.880
when you're having audio and video issues, you know exactly

369
00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:01.440
you didn't know any that, but you've learned it. So

370
00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:04.079
why is this still so different? And I'm gonna tell

371
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:05.559
you the answer is it's not different.

372
00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:06.920
You can learn it.

373
00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:10.000
And so that's what and that's what I teach. And

374
00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:12.599
in the book. There's twenty four different stories of people

375
00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:16.920
right from child sexual abuse to the first story is

376
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:19.559
a guy's wife committed suicide right in front of him

377
00:22:19.559 --> 00:22:22.720
on her thirtieth birthday, never been in therapy after she

378
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:25.160
got really drunk right in front of him, and all

379
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.559
these you'll see that all these people have done this.

380
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:29.720
And the reason I put those stories in the book

381
00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:32.400
is I want you to come to one very simple conclusion.

382
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:35.720
If they can do it, you can do it. And

383
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:38.440
that's important because it's the truth, and they're normal people.

384
00:22:38.759 --> 00:22:42.119
They weren't prepared for what happened to them, right, And

385
00:22:42.200 --> 00:22:45.279
so that's this path from trauma's r joy. Now let

386
00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:47.599
me get to the joy part. So you learn how

387
00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:51.039
to do this thing right. And then you're sitting around

388
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:54.200
talking and you hear somebody say something and your antennas

389
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:58.880
go up and you, in your own way, very privately,

390
00:22:58.920 --> 00:23:01.720
probably you'll walk over and say, hey, you got a minute,

391
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:04.440
and they'll say yeah, and you'll say, I heard what

392
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:05.160
you just said.

393
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:06.640
I wanted to tell you something.

394
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:09.000
You know there's nothing wrong with you, right, You know

395
00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:12.720
that everything you've done has been your normal adjustment to

396
00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:17.319
living your life after you've gone through something traumatic and

397
00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:18.559
you can still live a great life.

398
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:21.039
You know that. And they'll look at you and they're like,

399
00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:23.480
are you a therapist? Like, no, I'm not.

400
00:23:23.799 --> 00:23:26.759
Like I'm just a normal human being. And that opens

401
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:29.759
a door to a conversation where you can sit and say,

402
00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:31.960
let me show you some stuff that I've learned. And

403
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.400
a couple months later, when you begin to do this,

404
00:23:34.759 --> 00:23:36.799
you're going to get a phone call from somebody. Hey,

405
00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:39.640
remember that conversation we had a couple months ago. Well

406
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.720
you don't know this, but I was getting ready to

407
00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:45.000
kill myself that night and I called you tonight. Thank

408
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:47.400
you because the reason I'm alive today is because of you.

409
00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:49.839
And that is the trip. So you learn the skill

410
00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:53.319
and then you start sharing it. And I will tell

411
00:23:53.319 --> 00:23:56.240
you this, I wasn't prepared for the night that happened

412
00:23:56.279 --> 00:23:57.839
to me for the very first time. A mother in

413
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:02.279
Alabama named Libby Right helped her kid. Her son's not

414
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:05.079
a kid, he's grown man. But she was terrified he

415
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:07.559
was going to kill himself. And he was going to

416
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:09.640
therapy and he was taking the meds, but he was

417
00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:11.720
doing drugs and he was drinking because it wasn't helping.

418
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:15.240
And I called him up and I said, Luke, I'm

419
00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:17.240
giving you in order to stop drinking. You understand what

420
00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:19.400
I'm telling you. And we're both out of the Marine Corps.

421
00:24:19.480 --> 00:24:21.759
And normally somebody would tell you, you know, to go

422
00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:24.680
to hell, right, but he knew he respected me, and

423
00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:25.640
he knew I cared about him.

424
00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:28.279
And you know what he said to me. He said, yes, sir, and.

425
00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:31.480
He did and his life completely changes us. He begins

426
00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:34.720
to do these things. And so that's what the book

427
00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:37.160
is about. Most of us don't have a serious mental illness.

428
00:24:37.319 --> 00:24:40.440
We've just had our asses kicked by life, right, And

429
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:41.680
so who coaches us?

430
00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:43.079
Who mentors us? Well?

431
00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:45.160
Therapists will tell you we can't do that. We can't

432
00:24:45.160 --> 00:24:48.599
tell people what to do. That's unethical. And I say, okay, then,

433
00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:51.400
most of us who don't have a serious mental illness,

434
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:54.000
we don't need you. We need a mentor, We need

435
00:24:54.039 --> 00:24:56.480
a life coach. We need somebody that will show us

436
00:24:56.519 --> 00:25:00.000
what to do and then help us do these skills.

437
00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:01.200
And it doesn't take.

438
00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:03.599
Much when you've really been struggling and all of a

439
00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:05.319
sudden your life begins to get better.

440
00:25:05.720 --> 00:25:10.599
WHOA what just happened? And it's the most incredible. I

441
00:25:10.599 --> 00:25:11.240
would have never.

442
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:13.559
I couldn't imagine my life would be what it is today,

443
00:25:13.960 --> 00:25:15.279
could not imagine.

444
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:20.359
How have you been able to and I know you

445
00:25:20.359 --> 00:25:23.119
you have the book and have, but have you been

446
00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:27.359
able to reach out to any of those people who

447
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:32.240
maybe you helped walk them through the shadow of death?

448
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:34.960
Do you have a do you do a support group

449
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:38.799
in you're in your your winning? Yeah?

450
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:39.680
Yeah, yeah, I have.

451
00:25:40.119 --> 00:25:43.400
There's been so I I begin to learn this stuff

452
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:47.480
with Marines, and what's interesting was our participation in our

453
00:25:47.559 --> 00:25:51.839
conflicts had gone down, our suicide kept going up. What's

454
00:25:51.880 --> 00:25:54.000
going on? Why would we fight and then come home

455
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.799
and kill ourselves? That doesn't make sense. And I had

456
00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:58.880
the common on the Marine Corps, the guy who ran

457
00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:01.519
the Marine Corps, I've been one of my commanding officers,

458
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:04.240
and he came on and he told me. When I

459
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:06.880
asked him, he said, well, Mac, eighty to ninety percent

460
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:09.559
of our suicide they've never even left the country. And

461
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:14.119
I was stunned. I said, what, because my right it

462
00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:16.920
has to do with our operations. He said no, And

463
00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:19.839
so as I. What I've learned is that one of

464
00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:23.079
the secrets of the all volunteer forces, who serves, who's

465
00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:25.160
looking to get out of town at the age of seventeen,

466
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:27.640
eighteen nineteen. Well, a lot of them are trying to

467
00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.920
get to a better place in life financially, maybe from

468
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.000
a bad family, maybe from no family at all. So

469
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:37.359
they come in with a lot of adverse childhood experiences.

470
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:39.960
So the story I would hear was, it started when

471
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:40.880
I was a kid.

472
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:43.519
Right, blah blah blah blah.

473
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:45.680
Right, and then I came in the Marine Corps, and

474
00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:48.880
then I got married, then I got divorced, I was alone,

475
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:51.839
I was drinking blah blah blah blah blah. Three times,

476
00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:53.119
I had a gun in front of me once it

477
00:26:53.160 --> 00:26:55.279
was in my mouth. And I heard a variation of

478
00:26:55.319 --> 00:26:58.680
that story over and over, and so it was stunning

479
00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:03.559
to me. It our suicide wasn't linked combat, but to

480
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:09.480
child abuse, child sexual abuse. And nobody, nobody writes that story.

481
00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:11.799
And I don't know why, because it's the truth. Why

482
00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:16.119
is suicide in the military so high now? And it's

483
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:18.960
because when you combine that and from the time you're

484
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:22.839
a little kid, everybody says anytime somebody started wrong at

485
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:25.240
middle school, they get over together and they say, what,

486
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:28.599
how did that make you feel? So my feelings are

487
00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:30.880
really important right throughout the center of my life. And

488
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.079
then you graduated from my school and where you find out, Mick,

489
00:27:33.759 --> 00:27:40.960
you can't about me and nobody cares about my feelings.

490
00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:42.559
What when did this happen?

491
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:45.400
And then life gets hard and they don't have and

492
00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:49.400
so we our culture produces fradual young people. So when

493
00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:54.599
you combine advers childhood experiences with cultural fragility and then

494
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:59.400
our instinct to isolate using electronic devices, you have a

495
00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:03.119
recipe for absolute disaster. And that's what And again, the

496
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:07.319
meds and just talking about don't help. You need a

497
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:10.400
mentor you need somebody who you respect that will look

498
00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:13.559
at you and say, if you'll do these things, this

499
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:16.359
is what will happen, because it's God's honest truth.

500
00:28:16.759 --> 00:28:17.279
Yeah.

501
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:23.119
Absolutely, And I agree with everything that you're saying. I'm

502
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:26.119
wondering because there are there are a lot of people

503
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.319
who are who are in the valley of death, right,

504
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:31.640
the shadow of the valley of death. How do you

505
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:36.880
how do you become the leader? How do you become

506
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:40.400
the person who is leading that person out of the shadow?

507
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:44.160
And not really how, but how do you how do

508
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:46.480
you know? How do you know you're there?

509
00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:48.920
I don't know. I don't know how you know you're there.

510
00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:49.640
Here's what I know.

511
00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:52.319
What happens is if you read the book I'm going

512
00:28:52.359 --> 00:28:54.160
to tell you, by the time you get done, you'll

513
00:28:54.200 --> 00:28:57.279
know more than ninety nine percent of the people you

514
00:28:57.319 --> 00:28:59.920
know about how to live a great life after trauma.

515
00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:03.200
I promise you I can solve the ignorance problem because

516
00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:05.119
you get shoved into the valley of the shadow of death.

517
00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:07.119
And how do I do this?

518
00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:10.720
I'll teach you, Okay, And then what's gonna happen is

519
00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:13.920
as you learn this, as your life changes, people are

520
00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:17.799
gonna notice and somebody's gonna ask you, hey, what's going

521
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:18.279
on with you?

522
00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:20.759
And that opens the door a little bit.

523
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:23.279
And all you have to do is stick your hand

524
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:26.079
out to them because they're in that darkness where you

525
00:29:26.200 --> 00:29:29.119
used to be. So you stick your hand into their

526
00:29:29.240 --> 00:29:32.759
darkness and you say, well, let me tell you, right,

527
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:34.920
And then you know, people ask me like, like, dude,

528
00:29:35.039 --> 00:29:37.400
who are you? And I look at him, I say

529
00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:42.119
I'm Batman, right and I and it makes him laugh,

530
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:45.599
right because and the reason that's important, Nick, is because

531
00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:49.599
this is a normal thing. This is not an abnormal thing.

532
00:29:49.799 --> 00:29:52.960
If I asked you, Nick, I want you to tell

533
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:55.559
me some of the stuff you've seen, and so you

534
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:56.839
we be here for a while.

535
00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:59.359
Yes, right, right, yeah, for sure?

536
00:29:59.440 --> 00:29:59.559
Right?

537
00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:01.039
And oh, how do you know?

538
00:30:01.799 --> 00:30:05.519
I think you'll develop confidence based on how your life

539
00:30:05.559 --> 00:30:09.440
has changed. You'll hear somebody say something, because most people

540
00:30:09.759 --> 00:30:14.200
the guy I met, the guy whose wife committed suicide

541
00:30:14.519 --> 00:30:18.400
three weeks after it happened. A firefighter in Las Vegas,

542
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:21.559
where it happened, had seen me when I spoke to

543
00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:26.240
the first responders who responded to the Mandalay Bay Hotel

544
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:28.119
and Casino, and the guy was up there with you know,

545
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:31.039
semi automatic weapons shooting into that concert. So I went

546
00:30:31.079 --> 00:30:33.319
to speak to them. He called me and he said,

547
00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:35.440
can you help a friend of mine? I said, I can,

548
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:40.359
I told him right. So she had this emotional reaction

549
00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:42.880
and she was really drunk. She was a bartender, so

550
00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:45.680
she had a pistol. They came home from her birthday

551
00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:49.359
celebration and she took the pistol out of her purse,

552
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:52.039
was walking down the hall her a gendo's spare bedroom

553
00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:54.400
ten feet in front of him, and puts the gun.

554
00:30:54.279 --> 00:30:56.480
To her head and kill and shoots herself. Now here's

555
00:30:56.519 --> 00:30:56.839
the thing.

556
00:30:57.079 --> 00:31:00.000
She's not dead though. That gunshot wounded the head doesn't

557
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.279
kill you, right, it doesn't stop your hearts. You're bleeding,

558
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:07.200
and so he's hysterical. So the first time I meet him,

559
00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:10.000
he looks at me and he says, will I ever

560
00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:12.559
be able to feel joy in my life again? And

561
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.680
I said, absolutely, you will. I absolutely guarantee you that

562
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.200
you will. And I said, and someday you're going to

563
00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:21.559
be You're going to help people, and he looked at

564
00:31:21.559 --> 00:31:25.079
me like, yeah, I don't think. So about two months ago,

565
00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:26.960
he called me, could you help a friend of mine?

566
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.200
She was shot twelve times by her boyfriend, who then

567
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:32.160
committed suicide, and she survived.

568
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:33.680
And I said, yeah, So.

569
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:37.680
The three of us are in this doing my seminar,

570
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:40.039
but only the three of us. And I looked at

571
00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:43.200
him and I said, hey, him, remember when I told

572
00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:46.119
you would do this? And he just started laughing and

573
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:48.960
he said, I thought you were crazy, man. I said,

574
00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:51.119
what do you think now? He said, you're the smartest

575
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:53.240
dude I know. I said you need to tell my

576
00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:54.880
kids that, okay, please.

577
00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:59.039
And that's how it happened to make it. It's a

578
00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:00.200
very natural thing.

579
00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:04.559
You develop confidence because your life changes, and then because

580
00:32:04.559 --> 00:32:06.119
people tell me, oh, I don't know that I could

581
00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:08.000
do that, and then they do it. Well, it was

582
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:10.480
just a conversation and they were sitting next to me,

583
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:12.480
and I looked at them and said, well, let me

584
00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:15.640
show you a few things. And so with this, this

585
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:19.200
thing I call post traumatic winning is what the book's about. Okay,

586
00:32:19.400 --> 00:32:23.319
postmatic winning, not post traumatic doing. Okay, in the valid

587
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:26.279
of the shadow of death, not postraumatic. I grew from it.

588
00:32:26.279 --> 00:32:29.200
It's winning. At the end of the day, we win,

589
00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:32.599
it loses, right, it's in our back pocket.

590
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:34.039
A little bit of marine corps here.

591
00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:37.799
Okay, we're gonna win. It's the way it is. Okay,

592
00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:42.880
And so that's how this happens. But it's just a conversation,

593
00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:46.680
you sticking your hand into their darkness and then saying,

594
00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:48.039
let me show you something.

595
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:49.200
The first committed.

596
00:32:49.319 --> 00:32:51.960
So there's four goals and ten commandments of postmatic winnings.

597
00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:56.200
First commandment you don't get over the things that traumatize you.

598
00:32:56.680 --> 00:33:02.400
Ever. Now, nobody says that, right. Nobody says that right. Yeah,

599
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:05.440
I ever right. But when I saw it, the people

600
00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:07.640
they look at me and they start laughing. There was

601
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:08.599
so funny, and they said.

602
00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:12.319
As soon as you said that, I thought, Uh, how

603
00:33:12.359 --> 00:33:16.799
could I ever get over my husband putting a gun

604
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:19.160
to my head and telling me that he was gonna

605
00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:21.680
blow my f and brains up. But I was going

606
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:24.559
to therapy thinking that that's what should happen, that should happen.

607
00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:26.720
And when you told me, the best I could do

608
00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:29.200
was coexist with it. And there's gonna be days that

609
00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:32.559
are tough, right, and and that's okay, And there's gonna

610
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:35.200
be days that are easy. Don't think you're done with it,

611
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:35.759
because you're not.

612
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:36.079
Well.

613
00:33:36.119 --> 00:33:38.039
You might be done with it. It's not done with you.

614
00:33:38.519 --> 00:33:41.759
But that's the ebb and flow of this thing moving

615
00:33:41.799 --> 00:33:44.440
through your life and living with it. But nobody tells

616
00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:47.279
us that, And so all that's in the book. And

617
00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:50.519
so that's so when you show somebody the first commandment

618
00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:51.960
is you don't get over it, they look at that

619
00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:55.799
and then they're like, what, Yeah.

620
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:58.680
There's nothing wrong with you. And it's it's such a

621
00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:03.039
conversation starter and and and it unburdens people.

622
00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:05.839
All this time, I thought this was supposed to go

623
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:06.880
away or something.

624
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:09.079
No, no, how could it?

625
00:34:09.519 --> 00:34:13.679
And I think that's sort of the false lie that

626
00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:17.559
people have in their head, you know, because we don't

627
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:20.199
get a get over it, you know, and we do

628
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:24.519
need to be able to use the word coexist, you know,

629
00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:27.960
cope with it, deal with it, you know, learn to

630
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:34.480
you know, and interact, you know. Aside from that, you know.

631
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:38.440
You let me just think.

632
00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:41.599
The question is you have to change your behavior. So

633
00:34:41.719 --> 00:34:44.400
when you when you go through these things and when

634
00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:47.039
these ghosts reappear and they will.

635
00:34:47.079 --> 00:34:50.159
Oh yeah, there's a question. What do you do right?

636
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.719
Do you go in your room and isolate yourself and

637
00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:55.599
lay on the bed and start your phone. Or do

638
00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:57.760
you go to somebody who loves you and will not

639
00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.599
judge you and say, hey, Jeb a minute, because I'm

640
00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:01.800
really struggling today.

641
00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:05.440
Sure, And or do you go for a walk? Do

642
00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:08.559
you journal? Do you do? You get these thoughts out?

643
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:11.800
But I will tell you if if you just will

644
00:35:11.840 --> 00:35:15.519
make one change today when you struggle, finding the person

645
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:18.440
who you know that loves you and will not judge you.

646
00:35:18.880 --> 00:35:21.199
And this was fascinating to me. When I learned from marines.

647
00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:24.639
It was hardly ever another marine. Sometimes it was, but

648
00:35:24.719 --> 00:35:27.400
it was always somebody who most of the time didn't

649
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:30.440
have their experience. Because what I heard in my interviews

650
00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:32.480
was oh, I could only talk to another another combat

651
00:35:32.519 --> 00:35:36.039
vecroom makes sense, right, sure? Then I would follow the

652
00:35:36.119 --> 00:35:37.920
question up, when was the last time you did that?

653
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:41.400
Are silent? There you go, I haven't done it. I

654
00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:42.079
haven't done it.

655
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:46.280
Oh, so that was you telling me to go away, right,

656
00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:49.400
go away? You I don't You're not qualified to talk

657
00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:51.800
to me. And that's how you keep your this safe

658
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.760
space right, the safe, very dangerous, iscilated space. And that's

659
00:35:55.760 --> 00:35:57.800
how we do it. The way we do it is

660
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:00.960
we fake like we're okay. We numb our selves with something.

661
00:36:01.079 --> 00:36:06.119
Sometimes alcohol could be work, it could be parenting, it

662
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:09.039
could be fitness, it could be gaming. All the different

663
00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:12.920
ways we numb ourselves and we and we fake like

664
00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:16.039
we're okay, and we isolate. And that is a very

665
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:19.320
very toxic. But that's the way everybody does it. Everybody

666
00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:22.159
does it. And I say, look, there's a behavior solution

667
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:24.840
to that. Talk to a friend, talk to somebody who

668
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:26.800
loves you, say can I talk to you? And here's

669
00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:29.159
a funny thing about half the time when you say

670
00:36:29.159 --> 00:36:30.800
could I talk to you and you start to talk,

671
00:36:31.079 --> 00:36:33.400
they're gonna look at you and say, I'm really glad

672
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:36.599
you said that. Because I'm really struggling too, and I

673
00:36:36.719 --> 00:36:40.400
need to talk to you. And so they're fake and

674
00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:43.639
it just like you are and so and it takes

675
00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:45.559
a little bit of courage. I tell people, you know,

676
00:36:45.719 --> 00:36:48.480
when there's bullets flying through the air, you have this

677
00:36:48.599 --> 00:36:49.679
neurotic person in.

678
00:36:49.639 --> 00:36:53.039
Your head saying, Eh, today's today. Your luck's run out.

679
00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:56.199
You're getting whacked today, right, and so to get up

680
00:36:56.199 --> 00:36:58.000
and do your job takes a bit of courage.

681
00:36:58.119 --> 00:36:58.320
Right.

682
00:36:58.679 --> 00:37:00.719
The same thing applies to the valley the Shadow of Death.

683
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:03.599
You're gonna be scared, You're gonna but if they love you,

684
00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:05.880
what I'm going to tell you is, don't be afraid

685
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:08.559
what happens if instead of judging you, which is what

686
00:37:08.599 --> 00:37:10.719
we're afraid of, what happens if they just love you

687
00:37:10.760 --> 00:37:13.440
more and they look at me and they write their

688
00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:16.159
eyebrows go down. I said, yeah, how about that? I said,

689
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:18.480
here's the other thing. You don't have to tell them

690
00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:21.039
the whole truth. Why did you feed of about twenty

691
00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:25.159
percent of the story? Right, and watch what happens. Watch

692
00:37:25.239 --> 00:37:27.559
what happens, and then tell me what happens. And they

693
00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:29.639
call me back and like, I hate.

694
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:30.400
Telling you, you're right.

695
00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:33.800
I'm like yeah, because I am what happened, like, oh,

696
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:37.280
it was so good. And then I told I only

697
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:40.000
told like maybe forty percent of the story, but it

698
00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:40.960
just felt so good.

699
00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:44.119
I didn't feel alone, and that boom today.

700
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:48.119
So if anybody listen, if you're struggling and you keep

701
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:51.079
it inside, that's how you do it. Tell part of

702
00:37:51.079 --> 00:37:53.760
the story to somebody who loves you, and watch how

703
00:37:53.840 --> 00:37:56.119
much they care about you and love you, and then

704
00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:58.039
let that change your behavior.

705
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:05.000
Absolutely. You know this has been a great conversation. I

706
00:38:05.079 --> 00:38:08.079
know that that your book came out in March. The

707
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:12.639
book again is from Trauma to Joy, life changing lessons

708
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:17.119
that fellow US Marines taught me after traumatic events occurred

709
00:38:17.159 --> 00:38:20.920
in my life. Lessons that apply to anyone. It just

710
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:24.000
came out in March. Tell us a little bit about

711
00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:28.639
what is coming up next. You've got a podcast, are

712
00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:31.360
you doing a book tour? What's coming up?

713
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:31.639
Mac?

714
00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:36.079
I'm here in Montana doing my audiobook. So i'll finish that.

715
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.360
I'll publish a second book for children. It's really for

716
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:43.920
parents and children. When my nephews were murdered, my dad

717
00:38:43.960 --> 00:38:46.760
was involved in Major League Baseball and my sons were

718
00:38:46.840 --> 00:38:47.599
six and nine.

719
00:38:47.840 --> 00:38:51.079
My daughter was three. So we I talked to my wife.

720
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:54.679
And we're like, well, we don't we won't tell the kids. Well,

721
00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:57.159
then it went out on ESPN and all their friends

722
00:38:57.159 --> 00:38:59.079
were going to know. So I had to tell them

723
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:02.159
not what happened, and I had to tell them specifically

724
00:39:02.159 --> 00:39:04.199
what happened because they had to hear from, you know,

725
00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:08.119
their parents. And so the story is a book about

726
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:12.079
a little girl who sees something that doesn't even get

727
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:15.639
discussed what she saw, but she gets very quiet and

728
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:18.480
her dad says, you know there's things that and her

729
00:39:18.559 --> 00:39:20.519
dad says, why are you so quiet? And she says, well,

730
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:21.880
do you know that thing we saw when.

731
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:22.440
We were driving?

732
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:24.920
He says yeah, he said, I can't get it out

733
00:39:24.920 --> 00:39:27.239
of my head. And he says, you know, there's things

734
00:39:27.239 --> 00:39:28.599
I have in my head that I can't get out.

735
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:30.880
And so does your mom, and your brother and your sister,

736
00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:32.480
and your grandma and grandpa. So I want you to

737
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:34.880
go ask them what advice they would give you. And

738
00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:37.639
she learns all these lessons that are in this thing

739
00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:40.719
I call post traumatic winning that the book Prominted Joy

740
00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:42.840
is about. And so she comes back and she tells

741
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:45.559
her dad, Daddy, thank you so much I understand there's

742
00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:47.320
nothing wrong with me when I get sad, and I

743
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:48.519
now know what to do.

744
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:50.960
And he says, I'm not done with you though, and

745
00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:51.840
she says, well, what's that?

746
00:39:52.199 --> 00:39:55.639
What he says, when your friends are quiet, you need

747
00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:58.880
to talk to them and you need to help them, okay,

748
00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:02.639
And the book ends with her helping two little boys

749
00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:05.280
who live down the street whose parents just separated.

750
00:40:05.639 --> 00:40:07.079
We are tremendously upset by it.

751
00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:10.079
And so it's a book that parents can use to

752
00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:12.840
show their kids. Look, what we're going to do is

753
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:15.000
we're going to take this tragedy and we're going to

754
00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:17.880
turn it into joy. And that is that is the

755
00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:21.000
journey from trauma to joy. So it's called Colleen Can't Forget.

756
00:40:21.119 --> 00:40:24.480
And then I'll publish that. And so that's what's.

757
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:31.079
Douxt amazing, amazing stuff. We showed the book. We are

758
00:40:31.119 --> 00:40:34.119
scrolling where people can go and find the book. We

759
00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:39.280
want people to buy it. Amazing testimony, Mac, and thank

760
00:40:39.320 --> 00:40:44.760
you so much for sharing about what you're doing. It

761
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:48.880
is an honor and to have such a great conversation.

762
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:52.000
There's the book, you can see it right there, and

763
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:54.440
I want to just say thank you, thank you for

764
00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:58.760
coming on and thank you for sharing this story and

765
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:02.519
this information with It's not just an important book, but

766
00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:07.840
I'm grateful that you shared your own personal testimony with us.

767
00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:10.559
Thank you so much, because you know a lot of

768
00:41:10.559 --> 00:41:14.400
people do they hear PTSD and they think okay, or

769
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:18.400
they hear you know, trauma and they think, oh, everything

770
00:41:18.480 --> 00:41:20.719
shuts down. So thank you so much.

771
00:41:21.360 --> 00:41:24.239
Well, I wanted to because I'm a huge fan of nurses.

772
00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:27.320
I think they're angels.

773
00:41:27.119 --> 00:41:29.360
Right, some of us have born.

774
00:41:29.559 --> 00:41:33.280
I saw them in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it's the

775
00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:37.679
amazing work they did. And that's hard work, right, It's

776
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:39.800
hard work and every day for a long period of time.

777
00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:42.599
So my youngest daughter is going to become a nurse.

778
00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:44.880
Really, so when I.

779
00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:46.440
Read that about you, I thought this is going to

780
00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:48.280
be very cool because she's going to have her own

781
00:41:48.360 --> 00:41:50.320
perspective seeing all that she's seen.

782
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.079
So it's my privilege. Thank you, Mick for having me.

783
00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:54.719
And anytime you want.

784
00:41:54.599 --> 00:41:56.800
To talk about these issues, I would love to come

785
00:41:56.840 --> 00:41:57.920
back and talk.

786
00:41:57.960 --> 00:41:59.000
Thank you for having me.

787
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:01.960
You bet we'd love to have you back. It would

788
00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:05.039
be an honor and I really appreciate all of you

789
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.559
showing up. Patty. Thanks for dropping a comment in there.

790
00:42:09.159 --> 00:42:13.599
Everything that he said is absolutely true and we're going

791
00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:16.960
to see you tomorrow. Remember that resistance is not futile

792
00:42:17.079 --> 00:42:19.519
and blessings to you all always.

793
00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:59.559
It's time to stand up, speak out, get involved, and

794
00:42:59.679 --> 00:43:01.400
let's be intentional.